so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
