jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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