Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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