i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
