i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize