someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
