I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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