Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
