i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
