i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
