absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
