you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
