id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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