Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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