My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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