O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
