I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
