When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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