I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
pray to the hookup gods
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
