Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So many bounce houses so little time
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
