I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
