To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
