So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
