ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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