I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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