You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
