I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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