You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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