We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
