Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
