you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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