too bad you live with your parents still
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
