Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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