my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
