I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm too high and old for this...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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