What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize