it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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