even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just want to make out with him forever
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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