At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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