dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
