and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
