yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
