Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
