kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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