..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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