Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
