I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
