FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
