Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
