i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
