i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
