shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
