Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize