I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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