Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
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This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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