I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
