so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i've created a new STD.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
