Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
how drunk are you?
Several
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize