Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
