The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
