great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There r osticjed everywhere
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
